The term spite is usually used pretty negatively. Look up it’s definition and it is full of negative and ugly words like malicious and grudge. I think there is another side to spite though. I think people can embrace spite and use it to motivate themselves. Take a minute and really think about everyone who has doubted you, everyone that has laughed at your dreams. Think about all the people who laugh behind your back. How do you feel? I don’t feel anger, or embarrassment – I feel an urge to spite these people. I want to prove them wrong! Turn that negative energy (aka spite) into positive motivation!
In my world spite means one thing:
That may seem harsh, but if someone is doubting you what choice do you have? I have had people literally laugh at my dreams. I have had people tell me I will never succeed. I know people doubt me all the time. If I don’t label those people idiots then I am giving credence to their feelings and opinions. In my mind, you doubt me – you are an idiot. I will like nothing more than proving you wrong. I will rub your nose in it too!
It may be an ugly word used for ugly reasons, but the motivation I get from proving people wrong is powerful. I have listened to a lot of personal development speakers and this is one topic they don’t touch on enough. Everything is about positive thoughts. Think positive, be positive – don’t focus on the negative. The thought is that negative thought will bring negative energy. What about the concept of yin and yang? Have people ever wondered if we need a dark side, or an edge, to balance out our positive energy?
The reality is that negative motivation is every bit as powerful as positive. Look at pro sports. A team that has made the playoffs and lost a couple close series is that much better and motivated the next season. The L.A. Lakers got demolished by the Celtics in 2008, since then they have won two titles. Kobe Bryant who led them there, has spent years trying to prove to people he can win without Shaq. Michael Jordan parlayed the spite he felt for his high school teacher cutting him, into one of the greatest careers in the history of sports.
If you have tried staying positive, used your daily affirmations and have noticed your career and life results have plateaued, maybe a touch of good ol’ S.P.I.T.E is exactly what you need!