Exactly today is the last day of the year 2015, another year has yet to come and I admit I don’t have any big things that happen in my life to look back at this year. But felt so blessed anyway as God never neglect to poured me so much blessings. It seems like time flies so fast, don’t even remember how i was doing this year but need to thank God anyway for giving me and my family a more healthier life, to be considered as the most precious gift he had given for the past years.
I want to list what i had been doing this year but honestly don’t remember. I guess i was right in started writing my daily journals or in diary to get some idea when at year end. I am hoping it would be last long. As i would have this attitude of “Ningas Kugon” which refers to the Filipino cultural trait of very enthusiastically starting things, but then quickly losing enthusiasm soon after. So i hope so, since i love to write my journal but really not consistent. I have had a few in the past years, i kept it in a box, written in a small notebook and when sometimes get bored i’ll read it.
So anyway, to sum up my life this year i think it was a bit more dramatic and trying hard. Dramatic in any means of frustration, insecurities, resentment and fear. Frustration because i was more than impatient of something that didn’t came as i expected. Insecurities because i am doubting myself for achieving something and never did anything to make it happen. Resentment or let us see some sort of bitterness as i viewed life a bit unfair to me. And a lot more having a fear at all time. That feeling for having an unknown fear of things? I don’t understand. I doubted God, and i don’t know. I questioned him which obviously i must know the answer.
Okay, in terms of being too trying hard this year. Yes, i am still pursuing my passion in drawings, but yet still not good. Trying hard isn’t it? To keep on trying how to able to draw just to fulfill my passion but the outcome is some sort of not so good, duh! But anyway, don’t still stop on trying this coming year, will still pursue it. Even if it’s bad, even if i the only one who can appreciate it. So hoping for more drawings in the coming year.
As this day end, my sincerest apology and ask forgiveness to our almighty god. As i have stated above, i know i am more than not enough to receive his blessings but yet he never failed it. Please lord, help me to remain those bad thoughts and feelings i have had this year. I want to live this coming year with full of happiness and a joyful heart. Hoping this coming year to be more productive then.
Should i see, bye bye 2015 and see yah 2016? Please be good to me anyway. As qouted: “Tomorrow is the first blank page of a 365 page book. Write a good one.” Cheers! to a new happy year.