Okay, Okay! I had a busiest mind today


This week was a great chance for me to open up my mind in marketing world. Oh, does it mean i will enter into a business world in the later time? Honestly, i am considering it now. As i am getting older, i want to have financial stability. I could not foreseen my career to be stable this day so i find ways, might be building a business? Hopefully!

Anyway, so much thoughts came, how about building a computer shop store or an online store? Or what? It’s hard to decide, as i always keep in mind the possibility of failing. No, i hope not. I want to be positive. I want to pursue this! I want to be successful. But how?

I have read and watch different tutorials about business marketing and i would say it never easy for me. Being a marketer isn’t my passion anyway, i am a shy person, unconfident and reluctant of what i am doing. I am one of those who likes to spent my whole day at the corner of my room, scrolling facebook and twitter newsfeeds, watching youtube videos and like skimming some inspirational articles found on internet. In other words, i am a loner and a pessimist person. So how could this be possible?

Another dream, huh? A dream that i don’t know if i am going to pursue or leave it all alone. Not sure yet, I’ll surrender it to God, i know he’s truly best and i trust him. What i’ll do now is to let it be, if that will happen then it’s good and if not i’m sure i have something better need to do.

First week of 2016, how was it?

Blessed who looks LIFE happily!

How was my first week of 2016 anyway? All good so far, a first week that has a lot of works to do. Okay to start with, at the second day of the year, hubby and I went on a travel, not a escapade but a must do travel, we do have some important things to work on in the nearby city. That time, wish to watch a movie in a cinema but unfortunately it wasn’t granted, a little frustrated me.

Third day, we woke up early to travel again going back home. A bit scared because the weather wasn’t good and we need to ride a boat to reach in our town and urrrggghhh, the waves aren’t behave that time. I am cymophobia. I don’t know, our home is near on the sea but why have this big fear of waves, I must be used to it right? But why upon  getting older i realized that i had suffered this kind of phobia. I don’t understand.

Okay, how was my first weekdays? It’s Monday, hey i need to wake up early for work but seems i want to extend my weekend or holidays. It’s hard to rose up in bed, i wasn’t feeling a bit well. My head seems too heavy to carry, had suffered a headache. A little bit of feeling dizzy, i guess it’s due to my eyes. But got nothing to do but to move and move and start my day.

So how was the rest of the weeks? So far so good, a bit loaded with works but felt blessed. I know if i have more works to do, more opportunity to learn and a healthy job stability.  So thanking god for starting my year a good and blessed one. I hope this will the same with the rest of the year.

How about the feelings? I prayed to god that whatever the resentment and hard feelings I had last year i hope that would come to an end as well. So hoping, so far so good for now. I hope that would never back again. Because whatever life it takes i can say that “Blessed those who looks LIFE happily!”

Cheers! To a New Happy Year 2016

to a new happy year

Exactly today is the last day of the year 2015, another year has yet to come and I admit I don’t have any big things that happen in my life to look back at this year. But felt so blessed anyway as God never neglect to poured me so much blessings. It seems like time flies so fast, don’t even remember how i was doing this year but need to thank God anyway for giving me and my family a more healthier life, to be considered as the most precious gift he had given for the past years.

I want to list what i had been doing this year but honestly don’t remember. I guess i was right in started writing my daily journals or in diary to get some idea when at year end. I am hoping it would be last long. As i would have this attitude of “Ningas Kugon” which refers to the Filipino cultural trait of very enthusiastically starting things, but then quickly losing enthusiasm soon after.  So i hope so, since i love to write my journal but really not consistent. I have had a few in the past years, i kept it in a box, written in a small notebook and when sometimes get bored i’ll read it.

So anyway, to sum up my life this year i think it was a bit more dramatic and trying hard. Dramatic in any means of frustration, insecurities, resentment and fear. Frustration because i was more than impatient of something that didn’t came as i expected. Insecurities because i am doubting myself for achieving something and never did anything to make it happen. Resentment or let us see some sort of bitterness as i viewed life a bit unfair to me. And a lot more having a fear at all time. That feeling for having an unknown fear of things? I don’t understand. I doubted God, and i don’t know. I questioned him which obviously i must know the answer.

Okay, in terms of being too trying hard this year. Yes, i am still pursuing my passion in drawings, but yet still not good. Trying hard isn’t it? To keep on trying how to able to draw just to fulfill my passion but the outcome is some sort of not so good, duh! But anyway, don’t still stop on trying this coming year, will still pursue it. Even if it’s bad, even if i the only one who can appreciate it. So hoping for more drawings in the coming year.

As this day end, my sincerest apology and ask forgiveness to our almighty god. As i have stated above, i know i am more than not enough to receive his blessings but yet he never failed it. Please lord, help me to remain those bad thoughts and feelings i have had this year. I want to live this coming year with full of happiness and a joyful heart. Hoping this coming year to be more productive then.

Should i see, bye bye 2015 and see yah 2016? Please be good to me anyway. As qouted: “Tomorrow is the first blank page of a 365 page book. Write a good one.” Cheers! to a new happy year.

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